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I don’t get it.
I Just read a profile on Tom Cotton, an Arkansas Republican representative who is running for Senate. He’s a tall, white, 36-year-old veteran of two wars and has earned two ivy-league degrees, and he is being touted as the latest “future of the GOP”. He’s created a lot of excitement within a political party that only seems to get excited about big jerks.
What does the future of the GOP look like? Well, for starters, Cotton is against marriage equality, recently voted No to renew the Violence Against Women act, he’s against reproductive rights and just about all things Obama, he’s a deeply religious Christian, he loves war…so to them, I guess “future” is just a figure of speech.
He’ll probably get his Senate seat, because Arkansas, but do people like this expect to ever take back the White House? What do they really mean by future? Is the GOP just assuming America will get over its thing for civil rights? We’re past the days that a nightmare like Tom Cotton could ever be president, right?
And if a Republican politician were to modernize, by embracing marriage equality, supporting the right to choose, accepting the veracity of modern science and acknowledging that income inequality is killing this country, would they still be a Republican? Would someone like that ever be accepted in their party anyway? (No.)
So why would anyone ever be surprised to find out that the Future of the GOP is always the same person? Romney, Ryan, Palin, Bachmann, Cain, Pawlenty, Jindal, Perry, Paul, Rubio, Cruz—clones, terrible clones. How is this a major party? And can’t they just get their own little island?
AC: So you’re gonna be, like, a Doug Benson franchisee?
Cubas: On some level. I’m employed by the Drafthouse and not by Doug, but, essentially, yeah. And I’m gonna have to hire the other comics – at least two, because it’s a three-to-four-man show.
AC: Will you be able to do stand-up on your own outside this new job?
Cubas: That’s kind of the best part of this thing. Right now, it’s gonna be one show a week, so I’m totally open to do as much stand-up as I want. And it’ll be nice to have, like, a homebase with decent pay – and be able to afford to travel, you know?
AC: It’s a good package, with insurance and all that?
Cubas: Full salary and benefits, yeah. And health insurance. Which is great, because my health insurance has been giving-a-fake-name-at-the-emergency-room for six years. And now – this hand? [He holds up his left hand.] This hand fucking seizes up on me, like five or six times a day? And I don’t know why. But now that I have health insurance, I’m going to the goddam doctor.
Read the whole interview here
I wish things like Kendrick Lamar’s verse on Control could happen in comedy. What if some hilarious up and comer one day was like “nobody is funny except for me and these specific friends of mine, but even they need to step it up”.
Comedy will never be that cool because we’re too sensitive and we’d be all “what do THEY know?” and keep writing jokes about breakfast cereal and Amanda Bynes like our lives depended on it.
The Internet: “If we can’t joke about rape, what else is off-limits? Racism? The Holocaust? Retards? Midgets?”
No, but God forbid you make a joke about yourself! Fuck! If your comedy really is “just jokes” and your act doesn’t reveal a thing about you, and your joke about rape really was completely contrived for the sake of shock, and OF COURSE you don’t hate women at all, then the real offense is you’re boring.
Whenever a comedy controversy occurs involving a comedian’s joke upsetting an audience member, the one thing that sticks in my craw is when I hear another comedian say “I’m tired of comedians getting criticized by people who know nothing about comedy.”
If the entire audience is clueless about comedy, then wouldn’t that mean their laughs mean nothing? If they know nothing about comedy, then why tell them jokes in the first place?
Comedians who constantly defend bad rape jokes are a lot like gun nuts who defend assault rifles. They don’t want a real debate on the merits of some comedy because they don’t want to admit that some comedy has no merit, just like some guns have no merit. And just like the gun nuts invoke the Founding Fathers, you hear comedians citing the roads paved by Lenny Bruce, George Carlin and Bill Hicks to help their argument. Newsflash: They have nothing to do with your dumb joke. They may have helped shape some of our ideas, but they didn’t issue us a blank check with which to pummel the audience with unfunny, “dark” material, so stop invoking them.
Just once I’d like to see a disgraced comedian admit that maybe their dumb joke about rape was indeed ignorant and that they could see where the offended party was coming from, instead of hiding behind the defense of friends and other comedians who weren’t there. Tell all the rape jokes you want, but at least own them. If the best comedy comes from truth, and you do a ton of jokes in which women die or get raped, the problem the audience has isn’t really that your jokes are “offensive” or that they didn’t “get it”, it’s that you come off as a creep with disturbing, violent fantasies, and you simply can’t force people to like that.
Bill Hicks is one of the most influential comedians of the 20th century. He is often mentioned in the same breath as George Carlin and Richard Pryor. His style, they say, has been copied by hundreds of young comics who see him as somewhat of a mentor. That sucks.
One day, I found this at a thrift store:
It’s a video that Kellogg’s offered for a handful of Pop-Tart UPC’s. It opens with Paula Poundstone doing roughly twenty minutes of mostly Pop-Tart material. She is talking about Pop-Tarts, while holding a box of Pop-Tarts in her hand, and on the brick wall behind her is an extremely large and distracting Pop-Tart sign. She opted out of dressing like a Pop-Tart, instead wearing what looks like what a nine-year-old would wear to a job interview.