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Understandable though. I know I wouldn’t go. You would have to pay me money and provide a gift basket of my favorite charcuterie and wine samples to go to any sort of Republican function. (and supply me with a map noting all of the available exits in case it turns into a Klan rally)
I don’t get it.
I Just read a profile on Tom Cotton, an Arkansas Republican representative who is running for Senate. He’s a tall, white, 36-year-old veteran of two wars and has earned two ivy-league degrees, and he is being touted as the latest “future of the GOP”. He’s created a lot of excitement within a political party that only seems to get excited about big jerks.
What does the future of the GOP look like? Well, for starters, Cotton is against marriage equality, recently voted No to renew the Violence Against Women act, he’s against reproductive rights and just about all things Obama, he’s a deeply religious Christian, he loves war…so to them, I guess “future” is just a figure of speech.
He’ll probably get his Senate seat, because Arkansas, but do people like this expect to ever take back the White House? What do they really mean by future? Is the GOP just assuming America will get over its thing for civil rights? We’re past the days that a nightmare like Tom Cotton could ever be president, right?
And if a Republican politician were to modernize, by embracing marriage equality, supporting the right to choose, accepting the veracity of modern science and acknowledging that income inequality is killing this country, would they still be a Republican? Would someone like that ever be accepted in their party anyway? (No.)
So why would anyone ever be surprised to find out that the Future of the GOP is always the same person? Romney, Ryan, Palin, Bachmann, Cain, Pawlenty, Jindal, Perry, Paul, Rubio, Cruz—clones, terrible clones. How is this a major party? And can’t they just get their own little island?
AC: So you’re gonna be, like, a Doug Benson franchisee?
Cubas: On some level. I’m employed by the Drafthouse and not by Doug, but, essentially, yeah. And I’m gonna have to hire the other comics – at least two, because it’s a three-to-four-man show.
AC: Will you be able to do stand-up on your own outside this new job?
Cubas: That’s kind of the best part of this thing. Right now, it’s gonna be one show a week, so I’m totally open to do as much stand-up as I want. And it’ll be nice to have, like, a homebase with decent pay – and be able to afford to travel, you know?
AC: It’s a good package, with insurance and all that?
Cubas: Full salary and benefits, yeah. And health insurance. Which is great, because my health insurance has been giving-a-fake-name-at-the-emergency-room for six years. And now – this hand? [He holds up his left hand.] This hand fucking seizes up on me, like five or six times a day? And I don’t know why. But now that I have health insurance, I’m going to the goddam doctor.
Read the whole interview here
I wish things like Kendrick Lamar’s verse on Control could happen in comedy. What if some hilarious up and comer one day was like “nobody is funny except for me and these specific friends of mine, but even they need to step it up”.
Comedy will never be that cool because we’re too sensitive and we’d be all “what do THEY know?” and keep writing jokes about breakfast cereal and Amanda Bynes like our lives depended on it.
1.) “Libertarians are a fringe band of ‘hippies of the right.’” —no one says this.
2.) "Libertarians don’t care about minorities or the poor." —maybe they do, but only in that abstract “tough love/helping them only hurts them/they don’t really matter in the big picture” kinda way.
3.) "Libertarianism is a boy’s club" —even if it isn’t, so what? Doesn’t change how bad the core ideas are.
4.) "Libertarians are pro-drug, pro-abortion and anti-religion." —lol I wish!
5.) "Libertarians are destroying the Republican Party." —no, please but keep trying.
I finally made it all the way through that excruciating “Truth about George Zimmerman and Trayvon Martin” video by Libertarian nobody Stefan Molyneux because more than one friend sent it to me.
Go ahead and watch it if you wanna squirm for a half hour while he speaks glowingly about Zimmerman (he tutors black kids for free!) while speculating that Martin was a potential drug dealer/drug addict/violent thug, and cites stat after stat showing how neglectful and abusive black people are to their families (for like, ten minutes). He even reads Martin’s text message conversations (completely out of context, of course) in an affected urban voice. He goes absolutely out of his way to demonize black people in general (all the while saying that the media is at fault of racializing the case).
Towards the end, he theorizes that the real enemies are the media, the government, the Fed, our prison system and our fascist police state. Cool.
This is the last post I’ll make about this, because it is exhausting, but I just wanna say that anyone looking for information about the case is better off doing their own research (duh), because that video is effing terrible.
Michelle Malkin must be so happy right now, blogging about all the Twitter “death threats” being hurled at George Zimmerman and calling it a “lynch mob”. After all, she doesn’t REALLY think they’re a lynch mob, she just knows that calling them that will get web hits. She’s just having a little fun, that’s all. Let a girl run her victory lap.
In fact, conservatives everywhere seem to be rejoicing about the Trayvon decision, even though it’s not political, and even though they didn’t really win anything. They may say it’s a victory for the “stand your ground law” (even though he pleaded self-defense), but they’re actually just happy because the angry black people lost. There was no compassion, there’s no “maybe Zimmerman really is a prejudiced man with violent tendencies”, none of that. They are proudly smiling, because their assumption that the thug with the hoodie is deserved to die have been “proven” in a court of law. To them, it’s the sweetest kind of social justice, never mind how morally corrupt.
They’re also celebrating the recent legislative victories in Texas, in North Carolina, Wisconsin and many others; victories that mean major real-life losses for their opponents. See, they don’t use government for good, they use it for revenge—to punish them for being different. Gays are sinners and need to be punished. Women are sluts and need to be punished. Poor people are lazy (and vote blue) and need to be punished. Corporal punishment through bad laws that help no one, but convey a strong message: “We Fucking Hate You So Much”.
There is no reason to have compassion for George Zimmerman, at all. If people are threatening to kill him, I don’t blame them. Although I doubt anyone will try to follow through (because I’m sure if anyone does, they’ll be swiftly prosecuted), but the fact that people are livid enough about this court decision that they want to find him and kill him seems natural to me. Being this angry at something beyond your control makes you say severe things.
Michelle Malkin knows that, but all she sees is in the angry reaction a maladjusted, violent mob ready to hunt an innocent man and kill him (any white guy who kills a black kid and gets away with it is even more innocent then he was before). Even though no one has brought any harm to George Zimmerman, she is still concerned about his well-being, because he is a precious vessel of hate in which she sees herself. She WISHES she could pull of what he has. Validation! Freedom! Unchecked hatred! The liberals lost! The Obama crowd lost! It’s all good to her. It’s all good to all of them.
So to anyone celebrating the breakthroughs in “fetal pain” legislation this week, or doing victory laps in the name of George Zimmerman, you are the equivalent of a teenager with a stolen Mercedes. You could drive it in a straight line, but why do that when you can just do donuts until the thing falls apart? Your only joy is drawn from another’s loss. You hate Obamacare not because of the actual policies but because it intends to help people—same with immigration reform, same with bank reform, same with abortion rights. You just don’t want to help anyone who doesn’t live in your comfort zone.
I don’t hope you die, I hope your ideas die, and I intend to spend the rest of my life doing what I can to help kill them.
I remember my last day of fifth grade, Mrs. Gross’ class, I didn’t really know what abortion was, but I knew that adults thought it was horrible, so when everyone was eagerly awaiting the bell to ring, and the seconds were ticking down for what seemed like an eternity, and as kids were saying things like “come on!” and “ding already!”, I decided to trump them all and yell out “THIS IS WORSE THAN ABORTION!”
At that moment, Mrs. Gross’ face went ghostly white. She could hardly say my name, she was so angry. Before she could ask me what the fuck I was thinking, the bell rang, and I peaced out of there as quick as I could.
I didn’t learn what it meant until way later. She must’ve thought I was a complete sociopath. Shows how well that Catholic education taught me!
Thanks to my pro-life parents (whom I love unconditionally), I knew what a dead fetus looked like long before I knew what the female anatomy looked like.
I say this from personal experience: Pro-lifers don’t value life, they value the high ground.
My old suburban contemporaries on FB (high school classmates, etc) seem to have not yet trascended the ignorance that comes with growing up in Southern Louisiana. They roll their eyes whenever a celebrity is accused of being racist. They rail against “politically correct” language, and they could care less about how far we’ve come since the days of Jim Crow. As far as they’re concerned, we pressed reset when Reagan got elected. Slavery never happened, Civil Rights never happened, the New Deal never happened. For them, this whole era has been post-Civil War.
Racism isn’t one thing you do and then you’re racist. It’s patterned behavior. It infects the way you think about everything.
It’s not just putting on a hood or wearing a swastika.
It’s dismissing Paula Deen as “another Southerner who’s become a victim of the media” but at the same time believing that Barack Obama’s past should be investigated based on nothing.
It’s believing that white guys in bands are “more talented” than black hip-hop artists, who are just “talking over someone else’s music”.
It’s the belief that everyone on welfare is black and a freeloader (and conversely that every CEO is a hard-working self-made man and deserving of their insanely low tax rate).
It’s making jokes about black people where the point of the joke is that they’re black.
It’s believing the Civil Rights era was nothing but a bunch of violent liberals who wanted everything for for free.
It’s not only defending the use of the n-word, but claiming you can say it because “rappers say it all the time”. You are not black, you are not a rapper, you are a white guy from Metairie who has had the same 24 CDs since you graduated high school.
It’s believing George Zimmerman is not only “not guilty” but actually “innocent”.
It’s the belief that America is a country that you need to “take back”.
It’s championing states’ rights.
It’s hating Michelle Obama. How the Hell does anyone hate that woman? Seriously, there’s something wrong with you.
It’s having a Confederate Flag on your shirt, your truck, your hat, your bandana, your body. Let it go.
It’s forwarding Obama rumor emails.
It’s liking and sharing crazy racist shit on Facebook.
It’s speaking without thinking.
If it sounds like I’m talking about you, I am. BTW I’ve unfriended all of you. Consider this me pressing reset.
I followed up that book about North Korean life with the Mötley Crüe memoir, “The Dirt”, so if you have any questions about what freedom really is, who has too much, who doesn’t have enough, and how long it took to record Too Fast For Love, ask away.
The Internet: “If we can’t joke about rape, what else is off-limits? Racism? The Holocaust? Retards? Midgets?”
No, but God forbid you make a joke about yourself! Fuck! If your comedy really is “just jokes” and your act doesn’t reveal a thing about you, and your joke about rape really was completely contrived for the sake of shock, and OF COURSE you don’t hate women at all, then the real offense is you’re boring.
Whenever a comedy controversy occurs involving a comedian’s joke upsetting an audience member, the one thing that sticks in my craw is when I hear another comedian say “I’m tired of comedians getting criticized by people who know nothing about comedy.”
If the entire audience is clueless about comedy, then wouldn’t that mean their laughs mean nothing? If they know nothing about comedy, then why tell them jokes in the first place?
Comedians who constantly defend bad rape jokes are a lot like gun nuts who defend assault rifles. They don’t want a real debate on the merits of some comedy because they don’t want to admit that some comedy has no merit, just like some guns have no merit. And just like the gun nuts invoke the Founding Fathers, you hear comedians citing the roads paved by Lenny Bruce, George Carlin and Bill Hicks to help their argument. Newsflash: They have nothing to do with your dumb joke. They may have helped shape some of our ideas, but they didn’t issue us a blank check with which to pummel the audience with unfunny, “dark” material, so stop invoking them.
Just once I’d like to see a disgraced comedian admit that maybe their dumb joke about rape was indeed ignorant and that they could see where the offended party was coming from, instead of hiding behind the defense of friends and other comedians who weren’t there. Tell all the rape jokes you want, but at least own them. If the best comedy comes from truth, and you do a ton of jokes in which women die or get raped, the problem the audience has isn’t really that your jokes are “offensive” or that they didn’t “get it”, it’s that you come off as a creep with disturbing, violent fantasies, and you simply can’t force people to like that.
Geddy Lee goes to a very popular bar. The bouncer asks, “are you on the list?”
"I’m Geddy Lee."
The bouncer slowly peruses the list.
"I’m in Rush."
Bouncer peruses much faster.
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